Why I started a blog, and why I won't be doing my Christmas shopping at ASDA this year

Last night I saw an advertisement on the TV for UK supermarket chain ASDA. The entirety of the voiceover has escaped me, but was along the lines of, "Great Christmases don't just happen. Every great Christmas starts with a mum".

This immediately infuriated me, so I did what I normally do when infuriated by something I see or hear, whether on television, the radio, out on the street or in a newspaper - tweeted. I love Twitter, and have all but stopped using Facebook, preferring Twitter's clean interface and ease of use. Incandescent with rage, I blasted the following tweet into cyberspace:

New @ASDA advert: "behind every great#Christmas is mum". One in the eye for everyone in a non-traditional family situation there.

It's only fair to draw to your attention to the fact that, by my usual standards, this is mild. I also thought that it was pretty self-explanatory. The reaction it provoked on Facebook would indicate otherwise. I should probably point out that my tweets also post to Facebook.

Twitter is great training for expressing oneself succinctly, but I already knew that there are certain occasions where it is not possible to express the full complexity of one's opinion or argument in 140 characters or fewer. On these occasions, I usually resort to rearranging sentences, shortening words, removing pronouns and, as a last resort, spilling over to a second tweet. This is less than elegant. There are times where a lengthier explanation is necessary to fully explore what needs to be said. This is one of those situations, so it is high time that I stopped being lazy and started a blog. That I have done.

Advertising for Christmas on 4 November is bad enough, but ASDA is hardly alone in this. I've seen Christmas-themed advertisements for a well-known furniture chain from the beginning of October; we got the White Company's Christmas catalogue through the door two weeks ago and I've seen Boots' version on display for about the same length of time; Harrods and Selfridges both have their obscenely ostentatious Christmas displays out for what seems like all year round, and it can only be a few more days until the Coca Cola lorries are all over my television set telling me that holidays are coming. But there is something far more offensive about the ASDA advertisement that hit a switch in me.

Let us start with the first thought that hit me - that in my tweet. Many people have perfectly enjoyable Christmases every year that don't even include a mother, let alone start with one. The widower left to look after his children after the death of his wife, the couple who are child-free (intentionally or otherwise), the person whose parents are no longer with us - all would be quite within their rights to take offence at this advertisement. Can not they too have a great Christmas? Not according to ASDA. All great Christmases start with a mum.

Secondly, this advertisement makes a massive value judgement about the "right" type of family. The subtext of this advertisement is quite clearly that a nuclear family is the best type of family. There are a myriad of reasons why, in certain circumstances, and for certain people, this might not be the case. Relationships can become abusive, where it becomes impossible for one parent to remain with the other, a partner may pass away, children may need to be re-homed with foster or adoptive parents - I could go on. ASDA seems to have this covered in terms of single mums, but not single dads. What are they to do? After all, they can't have a great Christmas.

Thirdly, the advertisement further entrenches established gender roles within our society. Women exist to breed, and to look after the children they have borne. A mother's role is to make Christmas great. Only a mother can do that. Without mum, Christmas cannot be great.  Dad can help, if he wants, but cannot alone make Christmas great (mum can though). This is offensive to both women and men, whether parents or not. ASDA's statement simultaneously pigeonholes women as the home maker, and devalues men's roles. Why cannot a great Christmas start with dad? Or, for that matter, granddad, grandma, uncle, auntie or whoever else? Dad might do all the work, but it's just not great, according to ASDA, if it's not started by mum.

Finally, within the subtext of this advertisement is the implication that all mums are great all of the time. This is something that is becoming more and more pervasive in advertising - Unilever's Dove soap started it all off with their "In support of Mums" campaign, again with the not-so-subtle implication that the pinnacle of female  achievement is to be impregnated, complete the gestation period, and give birth. But the fact is, mums are people. They have lives outside of their children and are individuals in their own right. Most mums are incredibly dedicated to raising their children, but all are imperfect as are all human beings. There are also some mothers who are downright not very nice people. I do apologise for stating the obvious. What are the children of such mothers to do over the festive season? One thing's for sure - if they're not spending it with mum, their Christmas won't be great.

Perhaps I've lost all sense of proportion, but this advert seems to push every button for me. It might be "only an advertisement", but advertisements reflect the sentiments of our time and influence our thoughts, opinions and behaviour. The gollywog on Robertson's jam may be long gone (thank goodness), but it's still apparently acceptable to sexualise men in adverts for Diet Coke and objectify women in ads for Lynx. The influence of communication is not dictated by its medium - after all, Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf is "only a book" and Enoch Powell's Rivers of Blood was "only a speech". I am not suggesting that this advertisement is anywhere near as destructive or overtly evil as either of these works, but by defining the gravity of our statements by the media by which they are delivered we put ourselves at risk of allowing the method of delivery mask the atrocity of the message.

In actual fact, there are many more and better reasons not to do my Christmas shopping at ASDA than their distasteful advertisement. There are far more interesting and exciting places to buy Christmas fare than ASDA, for which the best compliment I can muster is that their uninspiring offer is no worse than the predictable and formulaic bland range of goods on display at the rest of the big four. London has many fabulous places to buy food in addition to the excellent Borough Market - between the Ginger Pig in South Hackney, the many greengrocers in Roman Road, and the wonderful Broadway Market you can get everything you need for Christmas dinner without setting foot in a supermarket.

And besides, I'm eating out this year.